In the first three parts of this series we have defined the game that most of us play. “We all learn the game of money, in which the winner is the person with the most toys and the most money. And, of course, we want to be winners." We’ve also learned about the topics of suppressed negative feelings and divided parts and finished last week with some examples of how we go about sabotaging our financial freedom. We continue with this topic this week in the final part for this series. (To read Parts 1-3 click here.)

Persistent Negative Emotions

People who have persistent negative emotions will tend to inhibit their ability to achieve financial freedom because of those emotions. For example, take the case of Stephanie. Stephanie felt unhappy and persisted in doing things that she knew were not in her best interest. Instead of acting on her plan, she was glued to the negative news on the television and she watched television as a means of escape.

Stephanie had a sense of unfairness that pervaded her being. Life didn’t seem fair to her. When she watched the negative news on television, she felt justified and right about how unfair the world was. She kept thinking how unfair everything was, and that feeling pervaded her life. So with that feeling and those beliefs, what do you think her chances are of achieving financial freedom?

Rupert had an issue with uncontrolled anger. He repeatedly became angry. Rupert did not feel responsible for his anger, because he thought that things would just happen to him to cause his anger. It never really occurred to him that his anger was unjustified or that in many of those situations other people were not likely to experience anger.

What do you think Rupert’s chances of becoming financially free are? Is it possible that whenever he gets close, he’ll find a reason to get angry and thus move in the other direction? And what about you?

Anita wanted financial freedom, because she knew she’d feel much better about herself once she had it. But deep inside herself, Anita felt worthless. What do you think Anita’s chances were of developing financial freedom with those sorts of feelings inside of her?

In order to achieve financial freedom, you must step into the positive feelings you would have if you were financially free. How would you feel? Secure? Self-confident? Worthwhile? You'd probably feel all of those things. And, when you operate from those feelings, you produce results that are appropriate to those feelings.

But what if you operate from depression or a feeling of lack or a feeling of not being worth it? You probably guessed it. You will produce results that are appropriate for those feelings. You’ll produce results that would justify being depressed. You’ll produce results that will justify not feeling worthwhile. You’ll produce results that will justify your feelings of insufficiency. So as long as Anita has those types of feelings, she will continually sabotage her ability to produce financial freedom.

Internal Conflict

Roger read about financial freedom and even bought some software, called SafePaths for Financial Independence, to help him with his journey. He knew that financial freedom was right for him, but some part of him just seemed to pull him in another direction. He couldn’t seem to develop a plan. He didn’t want to learn some special niche that would provide him the skills to develop financial freedom. He didn’t want to reduce his debt because it seemed like a restriction in his life. In other words, Roger experienced internal conflict.

This is very common. In fact, all of the examples given so far depict internal conflict. Part of you wants financial freedom, but another part of you isn’t committed. Part of you wants financial freedom, but another part of you believes it might be dangerous – you’d lose your friends. Part of you wants financial freedom, but part of you wants to avoid anything negative that might be associated with it. Part of you wants financial freedom, but part of you says you’re not worth it.

Let’s look at the example of Vijay. Vijay had enough assets to be financially free. He is $7,000 per month away from financial freedom. He’d built about $600,000 worth of equity in his house. He had stock options in his company that were worth another $400,000 if he’d convert them to cash. But he didn’t want to sell either. He wanted to stay in his house, believing it would continue to increase in value. And, he also hated the idea of moving. He was afraid of the tax consequences of selling his options, and the last thing he wanted was a big tax bill.

However, what if Vijay borrowed the extra equity on his house – let’s assume that this would cost him an extra $1,000 per month in interest. He’d now be $8,000 per month away from financial freedom, but he’d have $600,000 to invest. And let’s say he sold his options and paid an extra $100,000 in taxes. However, now he would have $900,000 to invest to produce passive income.

If Vijay invested that money at 11% interest, his passive income would more than meet his needs for financial freedom. And there are stocks, listed on the NY stock exchange that pay those kinds of returns. But Vijay was worried. What if something happened? What if he lost his money? He didn’t realize that his current strategy, which didn’t give him financial freedom, had the same flaws. What if his house went down in value? What if his options collapsed? Nevertheless, Vijay did nothing, because he felt doubt. And for many of us, when we feel doubt we are more comfortable doing nothing.

Being Right.

Peter had a problem that faces many of us – he needed to be right. In school, he’d learned that he must get 94% of his answers correct in order to get a grade of “A.” But when he got 95% correct, his father looked at him and said harshly, “Why didn’t you get 100%?” And Peter so wanted to please his father that he now was never happy with less than 100%. Thus, when things were not perfect, he’d criticize himself to push himself toward perfection. Unfortunately, Peter never got perfection – just a lot of internal self-criticism.

When Peter decided he wanted financial freedom, everything had to be perfect. He decided to reduce his expenses by $200 per month, but when he only reduced it by $178, he was disappointed. He wanted the perfect investment deal, but he could never find it. He wanted to make money in the stock market, but was shocked when some of his stocks went down in value. What do you think Peter’s chances of finding financial freedom were? The answer is that Peter’s chances are probably very close to zero because of his unrealistic need for perfection.

You Really Are Creating Your Life.

When you were young and authentic, you had tremendous creative powers. You could think about something and it would just happen. However, as you became educated and more aware of the ways of the world, that power seemed to disappear. You couldn’t just think of things and then make them happen. That wasn’t realistic – it wasn’t logical – or so you believed.

But let’s make an assumption that we still have that kind of power. Suppose we could create whatever we wanted just by thinking about it and then having the faith to know it will happen. What if you had that ability, but didn’t believe it would work? Probably what would happen is that you’d create according to your beliefs. Since you believe it won’t work, it doesn’t work. We tend to get what we expect; so negative expectations bring negative results.

What if you feel an internal sense of worthlessness – as many people do? What kind of creations would you make from that? If you still had the power to create, then wouldn’t you just create things to justify your feelings and beliefs?

And what if you had internal conflict? Perhaps part of you wants something and has the ability to create that. But perhaps another part of you doesn’t really want it because it is afraid of the consequences. If you had two such parts, both with creative power, doesn’t it make sense that what you’d really create is nothing? The conflicting parts would cancel each other out.

So perhaps we really do have the ability to create magic in our lives – the ability to create our dreams. But because of our beliefs, our feelings, and the fact that we’ve divided ourselves and our energy, we now create from those learned beliefs, those negative feelings, and that sense of division. Thus, most of us no longer create our dreams – we simply create from what we believe and feel. Doesn’t that explain why many people sabotage their financial freedom?

Perhaps you don’t believe that you have the power to totally create your life. And, if you do, based upon your power to create from your beliefs, you end up stifling your growth, inhibiting your potential, sabotaging your success; thus, you are still right. Perhaps you think that there is a certain amount of luck involved in what happens. You think that skill is involved and you might lack the skill. And, perhaps you feel that there are very negative forces in the world that can counteract whatever you try to accomplish. If that’s the case, let’s take another look at what might be necessary for success anyway. Because even if you believe all this, there still is a way that you can create financial freedom – just by taking a stand for personal responsibility.

Now perhaps you can begin to understand why, with the wrong mindset, it is so difficult to achieve financial freedom. But to get into the right mindset, you first need to understand some of the myths that have shaped your behavior when it comes to money.

From Van K. Tharp's newest work, The Little Book on Financial Freedom. Look for publication Winter 2004.